Getting Fat At The Wrong Place

I've always wanted to be fat. I was so skinny that I hate to look into the mirror and see bones all over my body as if I was suffering from Mal-nutrition. Ok, I was not that skinny but still I prefer to be "bigger". More athletic if not muscular. So I always want to be fat.

Bigger arms? Bigger chest?

To achieve that, there was this one period of time when I ate a lot. Breakfast with eggs, milk, breads etc. Lunch and dinner always "tambah nasi". Some time supper too. Unfortunately, what you want is not always what you'll get. It seemed that I still couldn't get fat, or put on weight that way. Apparently my metabolism was so high that whatever I ate was always not enough. Well, what was when I was in secondary school. Yeah, teenager... high metabolism.

Stepping into working world, still have that little dream of being a hunky stud, I spare some money from my monthly salary to pay the gym membership. And so I hit the gym whenever possible lifting weight and pump every single muscle I know (which is very limited) and thought as long as I keep on doing it, I'll see some result. And yes, I did put on some weight. But not very satisfying. I need to put on more weight. I want bigger chest, bigger arms... big big big!!! But I know me, I am the lazy type person. As time goes by, my determination getting weaker.

Being a hot hunk like me?

I ended up not going to the gym for a few months now. Reason? Busy with work la!

And then recently I noticed something. Something really scary and embarrassing! I got back from my office after long hours of working. I took off my shirt before hitting the shower and I saw that person in the mirror. There's a "spare tyre" around his waist that his pant can hardly cover. OMG! I am so looked like those big-belly uncles! I hate it hate it hate it! It's even worse when I notice that my stomach is almost bigger than my "boobs"! Ooops, did I just say that?! A pregnant uncle is coming to town!

Anyway, the point is, I am getting fat! But at the wrong place! Eeks! Big belly?! So U.G.L.Y.! For one moment, I thought I am gonna vomit! Uueeecckkk! Anyway, that's a very STRONG alert! I am getting fat. Perhaps I sat too long in the office? My sitting posture isn't right? I ate too much? I guess I need to get back to my exercise habit!

Come to the gym with me, darling!

Guess what?! I am going to hit the gym tomorrow after work! Yes, I need to.

Eating Out

I ate a lot today. Yes, I have been wanting to gain weight since like thousand years ago. And I am still finding myself swallowing gallons of water and tonnes of food into my body, yet I am still very much my normal size. My mom always said feeding me is a waste! Every amount of food that got into my body is equal to the amount I got rid every morning in the toilet. Find, my body doesn't appreciate those nutrition.

No body fat!

But recently I have been gaining some weights. Yes, few months gain few kgs. At least I put on some weight. If I just keep eating more and REST more, then I should be able to put enough weight very soon! Yes, the key word is REST MORE! Quite impossible for a busy man like me seriously. If I am not staying in office trying to figure out how to solve my programming problem or entertaining my customers on my phone, most of the time I was off to the client site entertaining customers and cracking my head in the freezing server room to solve the problem. High-metabolism? I think I have more cardio exercise than most of other people.

The thing I hate is that if I stay in the office too much, I'll find my belly getting bigger each day. Perhaps sitting for long hours cause that problem. Thanks to my stupid office chair which hardly support our back. So I ended hunchback and cause me to have beer-belly. On the other hand, if I go out support for too long, I'll be easily dehydrated and my face will be covered with the haze or polluted air in KL city. Of course, I used up a lot of my energies walking here and there. Burn all those fat! Good fat or bad fat, all BURNED!

More milk!

Anyway, as I mentioned, today I ate a lot. I went to Pavillion today with other colleague to celebrate two colleagues' birthday. We have our lunch at Dragon-i. I ordered a seafood fried rice, Shang Hai Siao Long Pao. Gosh, that fried rice was basically look like a mountain of rice on the plate. Well, being a heavy rice-eater, I was VERY MUCH delighted. I ate like nobody's business and wiped out my mouth in satisfaction when I was done. To make my day even brighter, one of the lady couldn't finished her fried rice, and she gave around quarter of her rice to me, which I happily finished them! Muahahaha... and then at the end, I also help to finish some left-over Secret Recipe Mango-delight cake. You have no idea how big my belly was. I was showing to one of my colleague my stomach and that I think I already am 2 or 3 months pregnant.

And our feast didn't just stop there. Since tomorrow is holiday, we all plan to go have crab dinner at Kepong. So we drove all the way from KL to Kepong. Been through all those traffic congestion and we were complaining as if it will make the traffic situation any better. But we enjoy the stupid jokes and curses we made in the car. And yes, we laughed like a whole bunch of patient just got out from mental hospital.

Crab? How about beef cake?

Anyway, we managed to reach the restaurant about 9pm. And we didn't have to wait long to have all our food served on the table. And imagine all those starving men and ladies grabbing those crabs and hit it with some tools to crack it open and enjoy the fresh crab meat. It's funny to see those ladies hitting the crab. I hate to eat crabs really. So troublesome! I tried to force myself to eat as much as I can anyway as they ordered three big plates of crab in different flavour. So used my bare hands and just crack it open to suck out their meat. You have no idea how embarassing when we make that sucking noise to suck out the desired fresh meat, followed by the 'sticking out the tongue', licking our lips to wipe off the dirt?!

Delicious! I finished all the food! Now you can imagine how big my belly would be. I let your imagination play its trick to your mind. Thank goodness I went out support in the afternoon. Should've cleared up quite some amount of food from my stomach.Wahahaha...

Oops, where's my sick pack?

Anyway, I'm full! And I was thinking, will I gain another 2 kgs just in one day?! Maybe I should refrain myself from going to the toilet tomorrow morning. Hahaha... crazy me!

Suck It Out, Put It In

I was told that I am not taking enough calories.

I need more!!

Apparently I have eaten more rice than anyone else and I am well-known a heavy rice-eater. I normally have two plates of rice for my lunch or dinner. And since my parents cannot eat too much rice, they most of the time give some of their rice to me knowing that I am such a crazy rice-eater.

And yet, I am still skinny like a bamboo stick.

I went to see this Mr. Flirtatious this afternoon to fix some system problem. Long time never heard from him really, as he used to call me everyday complaining about having system error and all that. And today, some other error was found and I need to go to his workplace and investigate. I noticed right away that his belly is slightly bigger! Not that he got pregnant or what, but really, he has that so called beer-belly.

Perfect abs!

While I was busy investigating what's wrong with the system, he complained to me that his little shirt was a little too tight.

Mr. Flirtatious : Gosh, this shirt is little tight for me!
Me : Getting fat already?
Mr. Flirtatious : Maybe. That's why this shirt is tight for me.
Me : And I kinda notice your big belly. What's wrong?
Mr. Flirtatious : Yeah la! I also know. It's useless to do any sit-ups to get rid of this spare tire. Oh yes, I need to show you something!!!

He quickly got a magazine (Cosmetic! Duh, isn't it a lady magazine?!) , and flipped through the pages and showed me the article. Guess what the article is all about?!

L.I.P.O.S.U.C.T.I.O.N.

I was like "Are you sure about that!?". Then he explained, he's gonna do that 'Smartsuction' where the fat around his belly will be sucked out. Is there any different with liposuction?! He also told me that the doctor actually recommended two options :

1) Suck out all the fat and throw it out.
2) Or 'neutralize' all the fat and let the body clean the fat out naturally

So you chose to suck it out? Or let it out naturally?!

And he chose the first option. Get it done once and for all. And it will cost him around RM 2K.

Anyway, not that it's my business. I couldn't care more. But I told him that I have no fat to worry about. The only thing I hate is the fact that I can never get fat. Or to be more accurate, I could not gain enough weight. Even though I have gained another 2 kgs over these few months (which is really a great thing for me), I need another 4 to 5 kgs to achieve my target to be 65kgs in weight before year end.

Well, then he told me that I did not consume enough calories. He explained that calories I consumes is equal to my calories needed. I should consume a lot more calories that I actually needed. Then only I can gain weight. Maybe he's right. Having a really high-metabolism, I can easily release my energy.

Hmm... I should eat more. Should buy a whole bunch of bread and put it on my table. I used to eat a lot of biscuit. But too many biscuits cause me to have fever. Any suggestion? More bread?
what else? Don't ask me to eat more rice! I have had enough rice during my lunch and dinner!

I need more beefcakes!

Gosh, most people are so into losing weight, yet I am struggling to gain weight! Pathetic!