I was being 'hit' so hard that for one moment I felt numb and don't know how to react nor response. It's like being hit by a car when you least expected it and you lost all your senses. Yeah, I actually felt that way. Until I finally got back my senses, the pain was terribly hurting.
At time like this, I felt tired. Exhausted. It's like the whole world is tumbling down and I couldn't fucking give a damn anymore.
Apparently I am not good enough. I don't know how. Seriously, I really don't know how. After all these years, I thought I've been doing ok. Little did I know that I can be hated so badly that I almost doubted everything good about myself. And, I really don't know how.
Oh well, no one is perfect. I have my weaknesses and many areas to improve. I gotta keep trying to be better.
Somehow, I find comfort in the following song. Let me be emotional... at least for now...
If you could only see that I was not put here for you
To judge me and dispute my in most truth
And after all these years of enmity, envy and tears
It's a shame you don't know me at all
I was wondering
Would you cry for me
If I told you that I couldn't breath
If I was drowning, suffocating
If I told you that I couldn't breath
Those ageless buried recollections
We transform them and select them
You have yours, I have mine, that's fine
Why are we too torn to heal
Our stitches never disappear
I have mine, you have yours, I'm sure
I was wondering
Would you reach for me
If you saw that I was languishing
I was wondering
Would you cry for me
If I told you that I couldn't breath
If I was drowning, suffocating
If I told you that I couldn't breath
