Monday, December 31, 2007

Last Day of The Year

Finally, the year has come to an end. I am just too lazy to think back what I have done in year 2007. I'll try to make it as normal as the other day (even though it is quite hard as everyone including my friends are all in this celebrating mood). However, I am also trying to make the day my happy day as well.

Talk about new year wishes? The following are my wish list:

Any idea where can I get in touch with anyone of them? Hahaha...

To all bloggers, readers & friends, Happy New Year 2008!

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Every Year This Time

Every year this time always give me a sense of insecurities. Everybody was talking about what they have achieved, and what not... planning what is coming for new year etc. Not that I don't like it, but I somehow feel a little uneasy around the end of the year. Was it because I have achieved nothing? Or is it because I am afraid to face another new challenges in the coming new year?! A little bit of both, I guess.

New Challenges?!

Normally I would do a little reflection and new resolution for new year. Somehow I have learned through the year that it has become a routine instead of something I really wanted to do and striving hard to achieve. No doubt having targets or plans keep you moving , but sometime they just don't lead you to the right direction. Many things will happen along the journey in life and I guess we will just need to improvise a bit.

No big new year countdown celebration for me this year. I guess I'll just do what I do best. Be with some old friends, have a drink and claps our hands together when new year come and wishing each other happy new year. I sometime feel I started to get "not-so-energetic" anymore. I prefer peacefulness and quietness instead of being in the crowd screaming at each other.

Better to be alone...

Time comes and goes. Guess I'll have to get used to it.

Saturday, December 29, 2007


Many things just don't seem to go the way we thought they would be. Guess that's why I call this a wonderful world. Many possibilities, many uncertainties, many twists... that just make everything unpredictable and unforeseeable. And maybe that's why we could have excitement of surprises and also insecurities that always bring us the darkness of fear. And yes, I've been through them all. Definitely not something new to us all as a grown-man.

Life as wonderful as it may seem...

It's funny how the rise and fall still get me. The crash and burn still hurts. Critics still give big slaps on my face and have me hidden myself in the darkness reflect over and over again what're the wrongs and what're the rights. Just as the compliments still makes me flying high until I hit the ceiling and fall back down still feeling happy. And I thought I am immune to all those dramas in life, not until I realized I am still a human made with flesh and blood. And emotion sometimes is stronger than sensibility.

It's always something else in life. Just when you thought you have experienced everything in life, there comes a new one at your least expectation. And 'whoa' you will be, shocked and stunned, excited and amused, whatever that suddenly make your life more interesting! It's a good thing though.

You want me to give you a surprise?!

Perhaps I am not the one who can really take surprises. Not that I would get heart-attack or stroke and die instantly. "Choi! Touchwood!" :p But I think I will need a lot more time to get back to where I was from. And being too high or too low freaks me out. It's like walking on a single rope at the high mountain that you might fall anytime. Definitely not wanting to walk in the deep and dark valley searching the way out dying to at least see the sunlight of hope and exhale in relieved.

But again, perhaps that's life. High or low. If only we could control everything, then it wouldn't be as interesting as it should be. And so I try. Try and try. And still trying to learn and grow. To find the pattern of life. To accept the happiness gracefully, and to get rid of the sadness calmly. To face the challenges courageously, and to rise up again after each and every fall. To be better and better each day. To find the beauties and to create beauties. And be the beauty who will make this world a better place.

Beautiful world

Oh, that's all so easy to say. But I guess I have to keep on walking. Step by step. Bit by bit. Life can be harsh, nevertheless, it brings joys and laughters. I think I'll just need to hold on to those beautiful memories I've created along the long journey. I guess that way, I'll be happier each day.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Thursday, December 27, 2007

My First Gay-thering

I thought I would meet only Adrien and some other bloggers with familiar names... but it turned out I have to meet not familiar bloggers but some men (cute + gorgeous + handsome + ...) . Get to know some of them who sat around me. Those who sat too far were just... out of my reach. LOL... Well they are all fine young men.

I am not sure if I have done the right thing really to have met up with these guys. They seem to be as normal as other people. Of course, a little gayness can be felt here and there. I am still surprised to have met all of them. Thanks to Adrien who called me suddenly to meet and I didn't even prepare myself to 'come out'. LOL... Oh well, but I did. I think I did well. Well enough to have people calling me a freak. LOL... but seriously come to think of it, I think I was a little freaky for getting people's number at the first meeting. Goodness, what was I thinking?! Never mind, I know I am not a stalker. It was fun though.

Right. I had fun. To all good men, cheers!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Ryan the Greatest

It starts with my new found Greek God Ryan Barry. For those who doesn't know who he is, you're so out-dated. Go wiki him out! He's a HOT HUNK NOT TO BE MISSED! And how lucky Reichen really is, to have the privilege to taste every inch of his body from top to bottom. Well, Reichen is Barry's boyfriend, so... you know.

Ryan Barry

No wonder girls are complaining that all hunky studs are gays. I don't really agree but I will be glad if that's the fact. I am kinda bitchy these days. Not bitchy. I don't know what is the right word. But I felt like saying something I wanna say and don't give a damn what other really think about it. Is it arrogant? No, don't think so. But I feel like a bitch barking something people doesn't really wanna hear.

And all of the sudden I came up with this so-called 'realization' that all guys named Ryan are either good-looking, charming, talented or handsome. Well, you see Ryan (Barry) is undoubtedly a hunk. Look at that body! Look at his fine face! Right, that is one hunky Ryan.

Ryan Phillipe

Look at another one - Ryan Phillipe. Yeap! Another cute boy, now a man. Remember the 'Cruel Intention'? Oh his bubble butt, unforgettable! And he's no doubt another cute cute cute cute cute pie I could taste night and day.

Ryan Gosling

Coming up next, Ryan Gosling. I am sure he starred in many movies previously. But started to notice him since the movie - Fracture. He's good in that movie. I mean his acting skill. I even wrote about it in one of the post in my blog here. And yes, he's not really a hunk, but he's handsome. Good-looking too. Well, it's very rare to find NOT good-looking actor.

Ryan Reynolds

Fine, another Ryan! Ryan Reynolds! I don't know much about him. Another tasty man starred in some chic flick movies, some action movies... well. He's gorgeous! And he sure maintain his body shape really well too. Any more Ryan?! Oh yes, Ryan Seacrest! That American Idol host! I wouldn't say he's a hunk, but he's quite cute with a good smile that he always put on his face.

Oh one more! Ryan Giggs! Err... not a hunk for me, but surely is a talented soccer player. It's funny when I introduce myself to others that my name is Ryan, most of them will response and say:"Oh Ryan Giggs?!" Why nobody thought of Ryan Barry?! I would be delighted if someone say :"You're Ryan Barry? Or Ryan Phillipe?!" Well, no doubt Ryan Giggs is more famous. Too bad I am not a soccer fan! I only know David Beckham and Michael Owen. And lately there's this new hunk Christiano Ronaldo? Did I spell his name right?

Ryan Carnes

There are more Ryan(s). Ryan Carnes, Ryan Cabrera... Ryan Ryan Ryan... Oh, having said all that, I just want to say, my name is Ryan! And I should thank to the person who gave me this name. And no, they're not my parents. My parents are not Christian, so I don't have a Christian name actually. Ryan, a name given by a friend. A guy. Well, someone who I have lost contact with for quite some time now. I should thank him for the name.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas '07 (Part 2)

I'm not sure what's got me to come up with something like a part 2 thingie. I guess it's just because I am very much still in the Christmas mood. I'm even having a hunky stud wearing nothing but a red Christmas hat with two white pillows cover his lower body as my desktop wallpaper.

Well, finally it has come to the end of my long holiday. 6 days. They just passed by like that. I wouldn't say I have had a GREAT BLASTING holiday. Because there's no parties but just a small intimate gathering with old friends and most of the remaining time, I spent it with my family or enjoying my own space and privacy. Very quiet and peaceful. And I really enjoyed that.

And it's amazing to realize that I am all energized and ready to go to work tomorrow. Although I would be delighted if I could extend my holiday, I really don't mind going to work tomorrow. I even kinda looking forward to work tomorrow. Something changed about me. I am not really sure what it is. But it does not really matters. What matters most is that I am happy and really enjoying life more than I used to.

I also noticed one thing. Last night I was still awake at 2am and I did not feel tired nor sleepy. That's very weird! Normally I would start to be feeling tired and sleepy at 12am and I will have to get into bed before I fainted from exhaustion. But last night I was still happily surfing on the internet and watching movie until early morning. I think I must have had enough rest and slept a lot. Yeap! I sometime enjoyed the afternoon nap. I am very happy when it rains around 5pm these days. And it rains heavily! Pouring rain! I love raining when I'm at home. I could enjoy the rhythm of the rain while feeling a little cool even without the air-cond on. Lovely! And it's a natural lullaby that always makes me fall asleep.

I have had a great holiday. I should have a long holiday once a year. It really help to refresh and re-energized myself. And resting for one day or two doesn't really help to recover you from all the exhaustion and tiredness. Long holiday will surely help!

And I'm feeling... GOOD! :D Of course, more hunks to make the season brighter! :p

Monday, December 24, 2007

Merry Christmas '07

I know I know... It's loud! The red colour background, I mean. But come on, it's Christmas time! So please just endure this loudness until the end of 25th December. LOL...

Doing nothing much lately during my holiday. It's funny, really. I thought I would be hiding in my bedroom all days and nights watching porn wanking my foreskin off... Oops, did I just say that?! But no. That's not what I did for my holiday. Been with my family really. Helping mum with the house chores. Went to watch movies with my brother and sister. Hanging out with old friends. And lotsa family dinner. It's nice, really!

And for the first time, I am having this Christmas eve on my own. No countdown celebration. No going out with friends. No worrying over being alone in this festive season. No extravaganza. No nothing. And here I am sitting in front of my computer typing a new post to update my blog.

And what I am gonna do is just to post more hunks here. Because that's what makes the season bright for me. :D

So... "Although it's been said, many times many ways... Merry Christmas to you!"