Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Good Bye, 2009!

"Amazing Grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me..."

This song has been playing in my mind recently after watching a youtube clip about a choir singing this song in a church. The choral arrangement was superb by Eriks Esenvalds. It gives me goosebumps especially when the melody is transposed from one key to another. It really feels like I have been lifted by the song higher and higher.

It is the end of the year, how can I not write something here. Probably my last entry for the year 2009. Forget about reflection or new year resolution. I have had enough looking back dwelling into those bitter-sweet memories or looking forward to see what I want to achieve in the next year or years after that. The past few years I have learned that I tend to dream a lot but never seriously take any action into making my dreams come true. Or perhaps I dreamt too big. Always a greedy man who wants so much more than he actually deserves. I am destined to fail.

However, I would still like to write down something I want to remember. At least to conclude the year 2009 for my own.

The year 2009 started with me being very busy. Overwhelmed by works with new challenges. I remember I never really enjoyed my Chinese New Year. I was too caught up by the project in Pakistan. Although I had taken leave for CNY holiday, I did not really enjoy the holiday as I was too worry about my job.

Things got worse. Not only the pressure from work, the incompetent supervisor drove me crazy. I still remember the appraisal, which was the worst ever in my 3 years+ working experience. I also remember the conversation we had when he wanna check on me after hearing someone said I was over-stressed. Thinking about it make me laugh. Which is good. At least I can now laugh about it.

I guess two third of the year 2009 I was occupied with work and work and work only. Everything was about work. I hit the bottom ground when I felt nausea every morning when I woke up due to over-stressed. I remember I went to consult the doctor and he said my stomach produced too much acid. I have no idea over-stressed can cause stomach to produce so much acid until I feel like vomit. That's when I have the thought of giving up.

The term "Giving Up" is so negative then. I told my mom I could not take it anymore and that I wanted to resign. It's not easy to convince my mom that I should resign. For them, young people should not give up. We should overcome whatever challenges we faced. That's how we grow stronger and wiser. I couldn't agree more with her then. I even blamed myself for being so weak and fragile. And so I endured.At the end, I still gave up! Or to make it sound better, I resign to get a better job with better pay. And most importantly, to work for a better supervisor. :P

And so I joined the new company in September. Gosh my life changed totally, for the better, of course! Not only are those colleagues friendly and helpful, the team lead is great! I really enjoyed working there! I am motivated. My contribution is recognized and appreciated. I gained job satisfaction. Not only that, I no longer need to work like a cheap slave. I can leave office on time. Unlike last time, I think I worked at least 12 hours a day! Now, I work 8 hours only! And like any other colleagues, I got to work from home 2 days a week. Best!

I can really feel I am getting happier. Life is getting better and better since then. I think it can only gets better. After all, I had hit the bottom ground. I may have started the year 2009 with worries and hecticness, but I am surely ending the year with a smile on my face. If you ask me what I did in year 2009, I would say I make a very good decision : Resigned and found a new fantastic job!

"...I once was lost
But now I'm found
I was blind
But now I see..."