Saturday, January 31, 2009

Oh Daddy, Sing to Me!

When it comes to a hunk, with big arms and huge pecs, I definitely succumb to his irresistible masculinity. Not sure if it was because an auto-reflex of my hormone testosterone or I had been brain-washed before, that I will be physically attracted to hunky stud.

So when I come across hunk like these :


and these,

... I cannot help but staring! And maybe drooling too...

Having all the time for myself during this holiday, I basically googling all the possible hunks I can find online. And then I come across this famous ex-gay porn star who is now singer : Colton Ford!

I first came across his sexy MVs and they caught my eyes, undoubtedly. I viewed the clips repeatedly and I found my feet tapping with the music as well. His George Michael-like voice kinda attracts me. And I spent almost one whole day to search online to look for his latest album : Tug of War. It was more like a electronic, disco like music album. I don't use to like disco or techno or rock music because I find them kinda noisy and too loud to my ears. Surprisingly, I like this album. Maybe this album is not that loud. And his sexy voice keep reminding me of his huge pecs and big arms. And my testosterone will start do his magic on me... and you know I will surrender... to his sexiness!

And guess what, I always have a soft-spot for someone more mature and older than me. But don't get me wrong! I am not into daddy type. I just feel more secure with someone who is mature in thinking and who can impress me with his vast knowledge and incredible charms. :P And look at this Colton Ford! Oh my oh my, though he is kinda not-so-young anymore, he is still VERY sexy! Look at the following photos!

I wonder how he keep fit?! Look at that, still physcially fit and huge and urgh... every inch of his muscle is lickable! What a waste of him quitting gay porn industry! And and his partner Blake Harper is HOT HOT HOT!!! Go find out yourself who is Blake Harper!

So let's check out his MVs :

Colton Ford - The Way You Love Me

I don't know why I find this MV turn me on. Maybe because of his open shirt! Damn, hot hot hot! He has another version of MV for this song as follow:

Colton Ford - The Way You Love Me (Blue Door Edit)

Ain't it HOT?! He can sing half naked all through the MV and it's all good enough! I am sure it will be explosive if he were to sing while stripping! :P

Oh and the following is one of my favourite songs in the album:

Colton Ford feat. Cazwell - That's Me (Explicit Version)

Another cool MV for your viewing pleasure!

Colton Ford - Tug of War

So what do you think? Hot, right?! How can I resist such hot dad?! In fact, despite some not-so-good review from others about his music, I personally think some songs in his latest album are quite good. After all, it's his first album. I would say he has done a pretty good job. You bet I have his latest album, Tug Of War, listed in my favourite albums.

Thursday, January 29, 2009


Such a weird number! Oh well, like it or not, that's the number of years I have been living in this world. So who has I become? What have I achieved? Nothing!

There's a little different this year. Last night, my friends asked me out and had non-alcoholic drink at the Laundry, The Curve. Just a normal chatting. They bought a slice of cake and we ran the small 'cake cutting ceremony', make a wish and blew the candle. It was simple and nice. Just nice. Then we talked and talked. But everyone was tired. They had been hanging out whole day. So we went home and rest. Oh well, at least I've got a small, sweet and nice birthday celebration. Better than stay home, I guess. At least, as I mentioned, there's something different this year.

Oh I have to write this down. I saw my crush in Pavilion yesterday! He looked so fine! And I think he bulk up a little. Yummy! He must have gone to the gym a lot and work out these days. Oh those big arms! I could melt in his embrace. He was waiting for someone, I guess. Coz I saw him looking around as if searching for somebody. I hope he's not waiting for his loved one. Coz I wish to be his loved-one. :p

I should've walked up and say hi. But I was with my parents and cousins. Not a good moment for that. Shit! Anyway, seeing him is good enough to make my day. Especially when he is still looking so good, even better and hotter! Ahhh... I can dream of him night and day!

And today, my big day, I spent the whole day at home! Just what I need! And I enjoyed you-tubing! Figured out a lot of interesting clips and watched some nice MV. From checking out Marco Blaze, to Colton Ford's MVs, to OZ's homo-erotic scenes, until some unknown hunks clips. Basically a great hunky feast. Good for my eyes!

Wonder how this year is gonna be. I hope everything will turn out better and better. My wish for this year? That would be too many. But I think I should really consider searching for my prince charming.

I was 25... going on 26!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Can't Help Being Stressed

I think I am over-stressed.

I keep worry about my works. My supervisor had assigned me some homework to do during the Chinese New Year. Sucks, I know! Oh well, I still have to do it anyway. It's about some documentation that I need to do. Putting down all those user-requirement into words and document them. Not an easy task, I would say. Especially when I did not really perform well during my stay in Karachi as I was not really prepared and I was sick like hell, due to food poisoning.

So since I could not collect sufficient information, how am I going to document them? And who can I to blame, but myself?!

So these days every day I wake up I scratch my head wondering how am I going to do this homework of mine. Undoubtedly, it had obviously spoil my Chinese New Year mood. And I hate it. I hate worry over my works during this festive season. And everybody is enjoying the holiday! And that make me feel even more worse!

So I had decided, I will try my best and document them down and submit to my supervisor before the first day of Chinese New Year. So I did, scratching my head, going through those few notes I jotted down during my discussion with the customers, and trying to remember what they said. I managed to come out with something. But not very impressive, I would say. Some of them I would say are pieces of shits. But that's all I could produce.

And suddenly I feel like I'm a piece of shit as well!

I closed my eyes, telling myself I had done my best. I put all those documents I produced in a folder and zip it up. Wrote an email and attached the zip file and sent it to my supervisor. Right before the first day of Chinese New Year.

Relieved? Not entirely. I still feel like I am doing a shoddy work. But I already did my best. What more I can do? I keep asking myself this questions. Part of me keep saying I did my best; Another part of me keep saying that there's more that I can do to make things better.

I am tired of this mental battle, or mental fight within myself. Maybe I should just forget all these troubles or problems for this holiday and start worry again when I get back to work.

But I can never stop worry! And that kills me! Fuck!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Some Bad Days

You see I have been surrounded by negativities since months ago. Ever since I started to work in the new office, back to the old office, working on another project and now working in Karachi, I have heard many complaints and gripes from colleagues. Surprisingly, even the boss also made a few complaints and shared it with us.

I doubt this will do me any good if this continue to happen.

Well, as the old saying :"If you can't defeat them, then you join them!". So I joined them. Complaining this and that and agree with whatever they are complaining, in hope that this will keep me alive in their group and be part of their 'family'. Oh, as if I have a choice, they are the only family I have now, when I am working in Karachi.

It's really disappointing that all my plans and expectations has been destroyed day by day when I reached Karachi. I thought I could enjoy working a 9 to 5 working hours and after that I could really enjoy myself in the luxurious 5 stars hotel enjoying the jacuzzi, the 100 over satellite TV channels, the gymnasium facilities, and even go sight-seeing and capture some good scenes got my blogging at night. I had that dream!

Too bad my dream didn't come true!

9 to 5 working hours? My ass! I basically have to wake up every morning around 6am and check my mails. Get myself ready including that hot shower and packing up my notebooks and fill up the bags with at least two mineral water! The weather in Karachi is cold but dry. I even have broken lips for the first few days which totally spoil my good mood! Thank to whatever up above I managed to get a lip-gloss which save me for the following days till now.

Oh where was I? Oh yeah, 9 to 5!? We had breakfast together around 8am and 830am have to be ready to be sent to the head office and start the meeting. Alright, I'll save my gripes later in this blog for how fucking annoying during work time. I'll skip it for now and talk about the time. So we end hour work at 5pm, and we have to gather at a training centre to do have a meeting to share our work experiences and discoveries of the day. Not that I am against the ideas of doing sharing, but what they shared are mostly unrelated to my area. Though I enjoyed some good laugh of those funny stories they shared during the review meeting, that hours are wasted for me.

After the meeting, which normally ends around 7pm++, we'll be sent back to the hotel. Then we'll have to decided where to have dinner. Another waste of time to determine where to dine. Then I'll have to hear complaints and gripes of the day through-out the dinner time. By the time we reach back hotel, it will be like 9pm++. Then I'll have to wash up, took shower and get myself out of the 'dust'. Yes, Karachi air is pretty polluted, in my opinion. After that, you think I can take my rest? NO WAY! I have to write meeting minutes for the day!

You see, I like to write minute if I know and understand what everybody is talking about. No offense but some people here are so good in speaking that they speak very fast with their local accent which I don't really understand. And they thought I am so good in listening and I suspect they even thought I am a professional meeting recorder that I can basically write doen each and every word they spoke. Too bad I may have deceived them with my book-nerd-like look! Oh well, I still have to complete the meeting minute no matter what and let my supervisor review before send it out to the project manageer for final review. Such a stressful work!

Only at about 11pm++ that I got to climb into my bed and start to press the TV remote control and start to watch some programs. And by the time I found my favourite channel, within the next few seconds, I already dozzed off! Fuck!

The next day will be the same old thing!

And talk about my work. I am basically here in Karachi to collect user-requirement. So I need to do a lot of interview and talk and talk and request and request more information from the user. I was allocated in the data communication conference room, together with some of my colleagues. It was a stuffy room with many computers inside. So there was this old man, who I believe is one of the top management guy, like to smoke in the room! Hey! He fucking smoke in a stuff room with air-cond on! What the hell is he thinking?! I don't really hate smokers so much before this as I don't mind other people business. But this old man really had pissed me off! It is an air-cond room for goodness sake and the room is quite stuffy already! Yet, he still without any hesitation took out the cigeratte and fucking smoke in front of us like nobody's business!

If I am not mistaken, he smoked at least 3 cigeratte per day! Imagine every day I have to be the second-hand smoker! I can imagine my lungs are now in black colour! I guess no one dare to say anything or raise an issue on that fella as he is one of the top management guy. But, again, he is not being civilized! He doesn't care about his health doesn't mean that he can spoil our health!

Expectedly, I had flu and terrible sore-throat for the next few days. See when you are sick, you can't really enjoy whatever there is for you to enjoy! Food is tasteless. Weather is cold! No matter how luxurious the hotel room is, you basically just feel numb and wish to recover from that annoying sore-throat and running nose.

And for now, I really miss Malaysia! Looking forward to go home soon next week!

P/S : It's amazing I can even write this lengthy post! Please excuse my grammer mistakes and typo error! :p