Languishing

This is definitely one of those days that I could easily break down and cry for all the reasons I need to cry over. Knowing the fact that "Life can be a pain at the ass, so deal with it!", surprisingly I managed to not shed a tear, maybe not yet.


I was being 'hit' so hard that for one moment I felt numb and don't know how to react nor response. It's like being hit by a car when you least expected it and you lost all your senses. Yeah, I actually felt that way. Until I finally got back my senses, the pain was terribly hurting.

At time like this, I felt tired. Exhausted. It's like the whole world is tumbling down and I couldn't fucking give a damn anymore.

Apparently I am not good enough. I don't know how. Seriously, I really don't know how. After all these years, I thought I've been doing ok. Little did I know that I can be hated so badly that I almost doubted everything good about myself. And, I really don't know how.

Oh well, no one is perfect. I have my weaknesses and many areas to improve. I gotta keep trying to be better.

Somehow, I find comfort in the following song. Let me be emotional... at least for now...

If you could only see that I was not put here for you

To judge me and dispute my in most truth

And after all these years of enmity, envy and tears

It's a shame you don't know me at all

I was wondering

Would you cry for me

If I told you that I couldn't breath

If I was drowning, suffocating

If I told you that I couldn't breath

Those ageless buried recollections

We transform them and select them

You have yours, I have mine, that's fine

Why are we too torn to heal

Our stitches never disappear

I have mine, you have yours, I'm sure

I was wondering

Would you reach for me

If you saw that I was languishing

I was wondering

Would you cry for me

If I told you that I couldn't breath

If I was drowning, suffocating

If I told you that I couldn't breath