Bye Bye

It's hard to say "bye bye" sometime. Even though I have never really lost a loved-one who I really close with or intimate with, I think the only person I remember I lost is my grandfather who lived with me since I was young.

Bye Bye

I was 12 years old when he passed away because of stroke. He lied in hospital for 10 days when I wasn't even allowed to enter the room to visit (because I was too young?). I wasn't really devastated. But knowing he gonna die soon just make me feel sad. I only cried when he was cremated.

Anyway, after that, few years back, a few uncles passed away because of liver cancer. My mom was devastated, really. Well, lost two brother within a year. That's just unbearable. But she went through that rain. Praying for the loss and let go. Putting it down can be so hard.

That just make me feel very lucky to have everyone and everything I love & care around me. And I vow to appreciate them more every single moment. Cause I'll never know when I have to say "Bye Bye!" to them. By then, I hope it won't be too hard.

I would like to dedicate the following clip to Sam Nasser and his family who has just lost his grandmother recently. Be Strong, Sam! My daily prayers will go out to you and your family!

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* The following added on 6th April 2008 6:02pm *



This is for my peoples who just lost somebody,
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put you hand way up high
you will never say bye.
[No no no]
Momma's, daddy’s, sister’s, brother’s,
friends, and cousins.
This is for my people’s who lost their
Grandmothers
lift your head up to the sky
cause we will never say bye.

As a child, there were them times
I didn’t get it, but you kept me alive
I didn’t know
why you didn’t show up Sometimes
on Sunday mornings
And I missed you, but what we talked through
All them wrongful things, separation brings
You never let me know it, you never let it show it
Caused you loved me and obviously
There's so much more than to say
If you were with me today
face to face.

I never knew I can hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
I wish I can talk to you for a while
Wish your butterfly not to cry
As time goes bye

And as soon as you reached a better place
And still I’d give
The world to see your face
And I’m bragging next to you
Feels like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say
Bye, bye-bye..
Bye-bye
Bye-bye Bye- bye Bye-bye
Bye-bye Bye- bye Bye-bye
Bye-bye Bye- bye-bye-bye..

And you never got a chance to see
How good I’ve done
And you never got to see me
Back at number one
I wish that you was here to celebrate together
I wish that we can spend the holidays together
I remember when you use to tuck me in at night
Or the teddy bear u give me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong,
You make it through whatever
It's so hard to except the fact you gone forever

I never knew I can hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
I wish I can talk to you for a while
Wish your butterfly not to cry
As time goes by

And as soon as you reached a better place
And I’d still give
The world to see your face
And I’m bragging next to you
Feels like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say
Bye, bye-bye..
Bye-bye
Bye-bye Bye- bye Bye-bye
Bye-bye Bye- bye Bye-bye
Bye-bye Bye- bye-bye-bye..

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody,
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put you hand way up high
you will never say bye.
[No no no]
Momma‘s, daddy’s, sister’s, brother’s,
friends, and cousins.
This is for my people’s who lost their
Grandmother’s
lift your head up to the sky
cause we will never say bye.

I never knew I can hurt like this
[I never knew it]
And everyday [ everyday of my life]
life goes on like this [ I wish, I wish]
I wish I can talk to you for a while
[I wish]
Wish you butterfly not to cry
[I wish]
As time goes by
[as time goes bye]

And as soon as you reached a better place..
I’d still give the world to see your face..
and me right here, next to you..
and the hardest thing to do..
is say..
Bye-bye…………
its hard to say
Bye bye bye bye bye
So Come on
Somebody sing it with me
wave your hands up high

Cause this is for my peoples who
just lost somebody
This is for everybody
Just lift your head to the sky
Cause we will never say bye-bye

Family

I was re-watching Brothers and Sisters Season 1 while desperately waiting for the next episode of Season 2 being downloaded into my computer so I can watch it. Somehow I still find myself enjoy watching the family dramas. Perhaps it's something I can really easily relate to. I love my family. And been through more than 20 years with the family members together, certainly there are some bitter sweet memories that I could cherish.

I can easily relate that to my family

Of course, my family is not so much the same like the American family. The family gay son is still in the closet and my dad never have any affair (or my mother is well enough at keeping my dad away from other flirtatious women). However, I love my family despite all the dramas we have been through together.

And yes, I really have a very happy family. Compare to some of my friends who never talk with their parents, or cold war happened between siblings, my family is so much better. I seriously do not know how others feel about their family. But I definitely have a very strong bond to each and everyone of my family members. From parents to siblings. We talked, we laughed, we argued and we fought. And I think my parents did, and still are doing, a very great job for keeping this happy family alive.

I love my family

I've seem some other family. Parents fight in front of their children, kids yelling and screaming at their parents in public, hatred among siblings... Gosh, I wonder how they live. Of course, some choose to leave their family and stay outside alone where they claim they could find a sense of peacefulness there. Some other just ignore the family members when they got home.

To me, family is very important. They should be your closest friends. They're the one who we can really trust. That's where I can find unconditional love. That's where I can really contribute my love and be loved again. Family is the best investment. That's where I find support and encouragement. That's also where I seek for motivation and guidance. Moreover, that's where I share my joys, laughters or even tears and sadness.

Together we'll form a happy family.

To me, family is precious. That's where I call home.

The Family Reunion

Last night was great. Not that I have had a great sex with a hunk or what, but I think it may be better than that.

No sex?!

Promised my sister to celebrate her birthday which was a few days back. But during the weekdays I was too busy working until late at night. So it was quite impossible for me to buy her lunch nor dinner. Well, promise is a promise. I suggested to buy her dinner during the weekend when I have some times for my own away from work.

Coincidentally, my brother who's studying also came back from school yesterday for the semester break. So I thought, great, let's have the whole family together for dinner as well. So I invited my parents as well to join the party. So from a simple birthday celebration for my sister, it turned out to be a family reunion dinner.

Not that we rarely have dinner together as we all are staying under one roof and sometime my mom cooks and we'll have dinner together. But it's only during the weekend that I got to join the family for dinner or sometime if I am lucky enough to finish my work earlier and got to get home earlier to join the family for dinner. Else, most of the time, I am the one who always absent for the family dinner. Of course my brother too, who is studying quite far away from home.

Anyway, back to our dinner last night. After arguing over what to have for our dinner with my sister and brother, my mean and merciful brother suggested to go Chilli. I could almost instantly predict how the figure in my bank account will be after that expensive meal for the family. But then, my brother always manage to talk me into having the family dinner there.

Come on, you can afford that dinner for us!

Brother : Chilli's good! Nice food, nice environment..
Me : You think I am a millionaire or something?
Brother : Come on, it's a family reunion dinner! Besides, it's our sister's birthday celebration! You can't simply go mamak stall and celebrate, can you?!
Me : I didn't suggest we go mamak stall. At least somewhere decent and not so expensive. Right sister?!
Sister : I don't know. Anything is fine for me. :p
Brother : Come on la! It's almost the end of the month. You'll get your salary soon. Sister's birthday very important! Chilli's is nice, not only good food and bottomless drinks are available, there are also a lot of pretty girls there! Can cuci mata (eye-washing) there! Beside, long time we've never been there. Parents will love to be there too.

Well, it's a fact there we've never been to Chilli in One Utama for quite sometimes. The last time we go was like few months back celebrating don't know whose birthday. Anyway, I also like the idea of enjoying eye-candies there. As a Caucasian lovers, Chilli tends to have more white men hanging around. Moreover, it has been quite some times since I last visited One Utama. I would like to see if there's anything changes there.

So by 6:30pm, the whole family squeezed into my dad's car and off we went. We reached there before 7pm and we didn't have to wait long to finally got our seat. Chilli is always full of people. And yes, I got to enjoy my eye-candies while my brother was enjoying his type of eye-candies. And sometime he even asked me to look at this girl and that lady, I have to give some lame comment that this girl's nose it not nice, that lady didn't how to dress... bla bla bla... so irritating! I would rather enjoy that hunky caucasian stud who was eating alone watching the football channel there. It'd be better if I could join him to keep him company. No I didn't take picture of him. Come on, my whole family is there, what do you think they will think?!

Don't you wanna join me?!

Perhaps we were there earlier than usual. As we got to see a lot more people coming in. Some even have to wait outside for seats. It was a long queue out there. Anyway, we ordered our food and drink and didn't have to wait long to have all our dishes on the table. All the food taste good seriously. And the bottomless fruit juice were great! Each and everyone of us refilled the drink. My thirsty brother even re-filled twice.

And as usual, we ordered different kind of steaks and we cut off some part and exchange with others so we got to taste the different dishes with the family. That's a culture nurtured since we were young. My parents always ask us to share our food with each other. Even though sometime I dislike the idea as I am very particular with hygiene and eating other's food and saliva doesn't seem appealing to me. But I've got used to it after a while. Besides, we're family and we share our goodness and badness together.

We were pretty full after the dinner. And normally after dinner we talk. Happy or sad things, we love to talk. Share our working life or love life. And last night, we did the same thing. And my brother never failed to amaze us with his funny stories in campus. My mom also talked about how my father always need to fart before getting into sleep which make us all laughed out so loud and we didn't give a damn what other diners may think. Besides, it is already noisy there in the restaurant as everybody was talking and chatting so loudly. But we seriously have a good laugh. And I love to see my family laugh together. After that, we went shopping for awhile. Before leaving One Utama, we went to the secret recipe shop and buy a few slice of different cakes and went home.

It was a lovely evening. And right before I slept, that warm and sweet family picture of mine re-appeared in my mind. And the laughters we had during the dinner makes me smile. It's a blessing, really. Some of my friends don't have a close bond within their family. And even fight between siblings. And I have this special and close relationship with every member of my family. And we love each other dearly. I love my family.

I have a happy family.

And I have a good sleep last night.