I was tormented after watching the movie Elizabeth : The Golden Age. Not only because I hate Sir Walter (Clive Owen), the stupid pervertic and disloyal servant who seduced the queen yet made love with Besse ( the queen's most-trusted person), I was also suffocated with the idea of becoming the queen holding great responsibility and many many scarification that she needs to make. At the end of the movie, I almost find myself hard to breath, even though the director managed to show us how noble the queen is.
Well, it took awhile for me to calm myself down and to acknowledge that it's just a movie.
To really think about it, I can pretty much relate myself to the queen. Of course I am not holding great responsibility as she was. But certainly, growing up with more responsibilities being put on your shoulder, I could already feel the tense and burden that I have to carry from now onwards. And about love life, it's like almost impossible for the queen. Even though she really likes someone, she still needs to keep up her dignity and not to fall too deeply in love. Secretly, she fantasize about dancing with the man she loves. And me, as a gay man, is having exactly the same problem. No wonder, we people are called the queen, sometime.
It's sad really. No matter how noble the queen can be, whatever mighty freedom she possess, I don't think I want to be like her. Life's already hard enough. But I already can see my life is almost like a queen. I'm gonna be single, childlesss... who will serve only the country... and forever a queen.