Searching For The Simplicity Of Life

Life has been getting more complicated when I grow and get older. Remembering how innocent and naive I was always makes me smile or even burst into laughter. And that's sweet. Always trying not to think back to the past is something really difficult for me. I have this habit of reflecting and judging my own life. Giving marks to myself every night before I sleep and, the funny thing is, I am always not enough. There's always something I should do, or something I could've done but I didn't and there comes the self-blame and self-punishment. And finally trying really hard to get over it.

I need to get over it!

Things were so different when we were young. From waking up every morning, eager to know how fun it will be to meet friends in schools and/or playing games with friends. Even watching the cartoon tv program every evening could bring utmost joy. Hardly remember any sadness except when we were caned by school teacher for not finishing our homeworks, or being ill because we eat too much snacks. "Worry" was so not in my dictionary. It's something I didn't do. What's there to worry when you have your parents to do it for you? So I just be happy.

I love having breakfast. I remembered my grandpa would make me Milo and I took two slices of bread and apply the butter and kaya on my own. Birds chirping while we enjoyed our breakfast planning what we are going to do after school with my siblings. It could be watching tv, playing badminton in front of our house, catch dragonflies nearby our house, or even catch fishes or frogs in the padi fields. Chasing butterflies in the fields. Sometime I tripped and fell and have a few bruise at my legs. It hurt but I would forget it easily after that.

Eating ice-cream is just as fun.

Going to school is fun. Meeting friends. Learning something new every day. Even though some teachers were strict and notorious, we jokes about them and respect them as we should. Of course there were some popular teachers who we likes and always have fun in their classes. But being with friends were great. Playing and eating during the recess, fighting over something stupid, sharing our toys and new stationary... Gosh, even colourful stickers on our pencil box would made us so proud that we have to show to the entire classroom.

Oh I was a good boy in school. A good student as well. Always finish my homeworks and got good grade. Love to bring back home my exam paper with the 100 marks on it! Surely made my mum proud. Of course, I didn't get 100 marks for every paper. But sometimes, I just luckily got it! :P And then my parents would buy me something as a reward. My favourite would be the Lego. Yeah I love playing Lego. Building house, car, and then having the small little man sitting in his well-built house... so much fun!

So many sweet memories. Life was so simple and fun. And why is it so much different now?! Oh yeah, I got complicated myself. So is my life. Is there any way to live a life I used to have? Such as enjoying the soft breeze caressing me in the big wide fields while listening to the song of the wind? Or drinking Milo again in the morning while applying the butter and kaya on my bread without having to rush to work? Or maybe closing my eyes softly when I was about to sleep knowing that tomorrow is gonna be a better and fun day?

I missed those days.

Really, those were the days.