Unavoidable, Unwelcome Questions

It wasn't so bad last year or years before that. But this year, I can really feel the intensity and awkwardness of being asked the question :"When are you going to get a girlfriend?!"

I'm still a free man.

Not that I don't know this will be coming. Years ago I have already know that I will be asked with that questions and surely I have already prepared myself and figured out a lot of different answers to response to that predictably annoying and irritating question. And I hate the fact that it is unavoidable.

Auntie : I expect to see a girl beside you next year this time.
Uncle : You still receiving ang pow ar? When will be your turn to give away?
Married cousin : Still single? Your ambition is to become a monk?
Cousin brother : Yo dude! No girlfriend yet? Are you still a virgin?

Fuck off with all your stupid questions!

Damn those questions. As if I want to be single and unavailable? They have no idea what I have been, and still am going through. Despite those cruel and sarcastic questions being thrown at me like I deserve it, I still have to just politely give them a smile. Yeah, a fake one yet seemingly sincere and helpless one. Or perhaps I'll just say :"I will try to get one..." following the whisper in my heart "... in my next life, hopefully!".

It makes me feel sad really. Growing up is already something really challenging. No matter how hard I try to live a life I want, there's this not-so-small part of me that have to live up to somebody's expectation. That at my age now, I should be having a girlfriend. Then after maybe next 5 years, I should get married and have baby to form a family. It's normal. It's what everyone does. Well, almost everyone. And not being among the majority is hard.

And this year, I can really feel the pressure. Not only from my own family, but also from my relatives and friends. I could simply cast away those irrelevant comments and some sarcastic jokes that were thrown at me from many different ways. But knowing the fact that from now onwards, every year this time, I will have to face them again, drives me crazy!

It will never be the same anymore.

And I can already foresee, CNY won't be as much fun as it should be. Even if I luckily found a boyfriend, will it make up for what I have to face every year during CNY? I wonder.