Sunday, July 06, 2008

To Daddy With Love

I have always wanted to write something like this years ago. It seems to me that many people talk about how great a mother can be and how we should love our mommy bla bla bla. But there's always lack of enthusiasm to show our love and appreciation to our father. And why is that? I always question myself that!

How to be a good dad?!

I have to shamefully admit that I love my mom a lot more than my dad. Maybe because I inherited most of her attributes. Good or bad attributes, I have a lot of commons with my mom. And we were so close that most of my friends envy me for having such a close relationship with my parents, especially my mom. And I still remember during my secondary school when I was a student reporter, I wrote an article about my mom. How she struggled in life and how her unconditional love shower upon us. And the article was accepted by the editor and published in the local newspaper. I have no idea about my article being published until my mom got to read it and show it to me. Then my dad told me she read it over and over again and tears never stop flowing out of her eyes. Oh well, my mom is always that emotional.

However, lately I have been noticing something about my dad. He has always been a good father. And recently I noticed he got sick very easily. Maybe it's the gastric problem caused him to have sleeping problems. Then he has diabetes years ago but he manages to control it well. Then two days ago he has this tooth-ache, which again, caused his to have another few sleepless nights. Not until yesterday he independently went to the dentist himself and has his tooth unplugged. Yet, he never complained.

Of course my mom, being the caring and worrisome mother and wife, then told us that we should show our love and care to our dad. Though he never complain or show much of his miseries to us, the children, he has been quietly suffering on his own and as a family member we should always be there for each another. A word of concern or a simple "how are you feeling?" will do wonders.

How are you sweetie?

Then I started to reflect. Yes, I have not shown enough love and care to my father. Maybe because he has always been that independent man who need no one to worry about. He brought us food and take good care of the family. Everything he does is about the family. He never enjoyed the luxuries outside but save the money to provide the family a better shelter or better food. Even during weekend when he doesn't have to work, he will see if there's anything that he needs to do about the house so that we will have a better place to stay. Changing light bulbs, repair the water pipe leakage, building a cupboard, install a wall-fan, build a shoe-rack... all done by him single-handedly. Shame on me, I always lie in my bed during the weekend minding my own business.

And yes, he is the man of the family. I don't have to mention how much he actually has to go through to construct and maintain this family. I am not sure about other family, but my dad surely sacrifice a lot. And he never talks about it. He secretly kept all those contribution to himself and proudly enjoy the family he has constructed with his bare hands. Though we may not noticed it, he still very much enjoyed and proud of his own "creation".

And sometime when I look at him, his smile tells me something when he is watching the family members laughing around with each other having great times under the same roof. That roof he built on top of us, has been bringing the whole family, us, security, blessing, love and happiness.

You're the man!

This post is to my daddy. Though he may not know, I just wanna say it out loud here :"Daddy, I love you! Always will!" :D


Nathan West said...


awesome post. Its kind of funny how we are all related to the same situation. Its always the case or not always, that kids have tendency to love their mum more then their dad, probably because of mum provide more emotional support and dad being the man of the house show less emotion. I did felt that way long time ago and I realized it, wish it was sooner then later.~

Sh@ney said...

I have had a feeling similar to this for the longest time now.
It has taken me a forever to forgive & forget the past and really begin to understand my Father. I guess not all circumstances are the same. But I too feel as though he has been shown much less appreciation throughout the years.

On many occassions he has been there without hesitation, but I failed to recognise that. I could only recall on the dark days & choke all goodness out my thoughts.

There have been a few visits of recent where am about to leave & have wanted to throw my arms around him and show him that I care. Yet when it comes to the crunch I cannot do it.

I often wonder how he must feel knowing I can embrace my Mother and tell her that I love her dearly, yet a firm handshake and a Thank you is all he ever gets.

I will do it, I have to do it. I want him to know that I do love him and appreciate his qualities as a Dad. Maybe on my Birthday this Sunday I will give him that one hug he needs from me.

Thank you Ryan, for this post.

Jason said...

This is one sweet post. Love the picture.

Will said...

A lovely piece, Ryan. I think fathers have also been neglected by society until fairly recently--kept out of the delivery room, assumed to be clueless or inept at diapering, bathing, and many of the other arts of tending a child. Of course all that's nonsense. Men are in many ways an underappreciated resource.

Legolas said...

Now go say it to him directly. I think I could never do that in my life.

King said...

Don't wait another minute to brag on your Daddys and tell them you love and care for them . . and then show them you love and care for them from now on. They are more dear than you know; and when they're gone, it's too late to do the right thing.


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