Sunday, September 16, 2007


I've changed. A lot.

Even though I am contend and feeling fine with whoever I am now, I've changed, into someone I don't really admire. Yea, I am not perfect. And I don't really care, do I?

Life in KL has really shaped me into someone I don't really know. The hectic lifestyle and surrounded with many different people really affect the changed of my lifestyle and personalities. From an innocent, pure-hearted and ambitious person, I think I have changed into a self-protected, introverted and realistic person.

Been hurt many times, by friends or strangers. I painfully learned that even the best friend might not be truthful enough. Been defeated many times, by realities and facts that life can be really harsh and unkind. Through the rain, I cried and fought. Every time I rise from a fall, something changes. A new skin, a new protection, an alteration here and there to adapt to the situation or environment. Unconsciously evolving and changing little by little.

I have to let go some of my good attributes. Or hiding them deep within myself. I have to learn to be someone I don't really like to be, in order to protect myself from harm. I maybe stronger. I maybe wiser. Somehow, I am not strong enough to be the one I want to be. I am not wise enough to be the real me.

Who am I, exactly?

I want to be better, and I constantly tell myself no one is perfect...


沈 一 傑 said...

I agree with you that nobody is perfect. That's a good thing though. You are allowed to make mistakes.

Friendships are not built to last. There are no such things like forever friendships. People you thought are friends, can turn into strangers or even enemies. I have experienced this kind change of behavior so many times. Mostly when they don't get what they want. They start to keep distance from me. Due to these experiences and the older you get, you'll become wiser on the good side. On the bad side, you'll become more sensible and sceptic about these things. You'll need more time to digest things around this subject. But that's part of life which is inevitable. Either get away from it or go with the flow. I choose to get away from it ... ;)

Jason said...

Maybe changing isn't a bad thing after all.