I have been busy. With work, of course. And through these hectic days, I find myself pretty steady and calm. I needed to prepare a presentation, I need to entertain endless customers everyday, I need to solve system problems, I have lotsa program enhancement that need to be done for customer... the list can never end.
Yet, I find myself looking at all those overwhelming workloads, without much emotion. Numb? Maybe. I am quite surprise, frankly. Normally I would be so stressed up and prepare things in advance. But for the presentation, I actually waited and started to do the preparation one day before the presentation day. And I took my own sweet time to work on the problematic system and entertain my customers with jokes and humours.
In fact, I felt like I don't really care anymore. As long as I live, I will want to live the life I want to live. I have worried enough, suffered enough, felt enough pain and sorrow... And I don't really get over-excited too easily... And sometime I felt old. Or mature?
And suddenly, I kinda like myself. I like this feeling. It was like I am stronger now. Whatever things that may have come in my way, I can still smile and cast them all away... And I have the power and option to choose to be happy. Even though I am not overjoyed now, the peace I have within myself is good enough.
Yeah, the inner peace... I like that!