This Saturday

"So you're going back this Monday morning?"

"Yea. It sucks whenever I think about it."

"Why? I thought you enjoyed your life there?"

"Not really. Long working hours, different cultures and others. Still not get used to the new environment"

"You're there for like a 2 or 3 months already. Still have the culture shock?"

"Yeah. It's the long working hour that is just terrible..."

Silence sneaked in.

I was sitting right beside him (let's call him Gregory) in the car. He drove me home again today after attending a house-warming party at one of our colleague's new home. I kept asking questions just so that we could talk. Didn't really matter if the topics were very important or not. But at least we talked. Instead of us focusing only on the road and listening to the Mix FM radio. That kind of silence between us would make me feel very odd and awkward.

I forgot how we met and first talked to each other. But he's quite a "happening" person in the office. Very friendly and out-going. Later I found out we're coming from the same hometown to work in this KL city. Perhaps that's why we got along easily and become quite close these days.

We flirt around sometime. Not most of the time actually. Even though he has another so-called "boyfriend" (let's call him Justin) in the same company, lately he has found a new "boyfriend", that's me. And the three of us got along very well. But he is the most flirtatious one. He could flirt with Justin or with me. But Justin never flirt with me. Hahaha... Justin is so straight that he's already got a girlfriend. But we're good with each other.

Sorry, but I am straight.

So Gregory and Justin was assigned to work in other country. Lately they came back to Malaysia for a week to re-new their working permit. Actually with or without them here is the same. After all, thanks to the technologies, we always chatted with each other through the net. And I being the naughty one always send some stupid messages over just to kacau (disturb) them. And they would response with some stupid emoticon which I always thought they were just too busy to type and reply my message. I don't really care anyway.

But then there's this one day where I was really not in a good mood. I mean, I was in a really bad mood. I forget why I was so pissed off. So I yelled (I mean I sent some very angry messages) at Gregory for no reasons. He was like very shocked and scared of me. Then I realized I was the one being out of control, I apologized for my inexcusable rude behaviour. He, always being the kind person always forgive and forget. And then we talk. No, not the lovey-dovey talk. Heart-to-heart talk.

So are you gonna talk to me, baby?

He told me about his situation there. Relationship between colleagues, stressful life he has there, of how tension when the due date was around the corner and the work was just overwhelming. Internet really gave us this medium to have this kind of conversation. I doubt he would discuss such thing when we're face-to-face. Normally he would just laugh it off and pretend nothing happen if I were to ask him about how he really are these days right at his face.

I mean guys are like that. We don't really discuss our feelings or personal stuff with friends. Well, except those really really good friends. Not face-to-face. No pillow talk. Wonder if it is a self-defense or self-pride.

And so we talked that day. Not very long. But longer than our usual meaningless conversation. And one point I felt honoured as he was willing to share his own feelings and problems with me. That means he believes me. I still remember at the end of our conversation he told me not to tell anyone about what our conversation. I wanted to laugh, but I told him that I won't tell anyone and he had my words.

And so he's back now in Malaysia. We could hardly talk. Perhaps he was too busy with work. I still sent him stupid annoying messages to him even we're in the same office. (OK, I was just so freaking boring that time. ) And he still reply me with that same old stupid emoticon.

And I was in that same car with him. Having the meaningless conversation trying to be as normal we could be. Never did anyone of us mentioned about the conversation we had through the internet. Deep down inside, we know we're good friends. But we just don't express ourselves. Guys don't do that. You know I know, that's enough.

We're just friends.

I thanked him for the ride and asked him to drive carefully home. It'll be another few months till I meet him again.