I think I am a very emotional person ever since young. And I think I kinda enjoy being emotional. Well, you see, I was well-known being the one who cry a lot when I was a kid. I still remember being laughed at when I was holding hand with my cousin sister (forgot for what reason) and I ended up crying out of humiliation. The next thing I remember was I lost in a quiz contest and I fucking cried.
While listening to songs in the monorail train this morning, I suddenly felt the urge to cry. Just feel like being sad. I could easily find thousands of reasons for being sad. Yeap, it is THAT EASY to be sad really in this cold harsh world. Not that crying is not good. I think I indulged myself in self-pity-ness. Blaming the world and life treated me very unkindly.
And I sometime like to weep alone in the room in the dark. (Why suddenly I feel I should admit myself to the mental hospital?!) Oh, call me gay, fag, queer or homo, but I don't give a fucking damn. I sometime purposely look for a good saddening movie to watch, so that I could drop my tears without making others feel that I am weird. And watching brothers and sisters is one of the way for me to do so. (Damn it, I just managed to finished downloading the latest episode this morning!)
And why is it so difficult to find some reasons to be happy?! Hmm... I think I can be happy anytime. By then I will acting like a stupid bunny smiling to myself and laughing for no reason. Oh yes I do that a lot. Ask my colleagues and they will surely agree that I sometime smiling or laughing for no reason. And I laugh out really LOUD! And in high pitch too! I think it's because of me being the tenor in the choir. And I think I can join the soprano too. Yes I think I could be the backup for sopranos. I have had 'good' vocal training in my early childhood practicing soprano's songs.
Having said that, I better not laugh and keep my mouth shut. Maybe just smile or giggle a bit. Duh, laugh or cry, so difficult?!