Suck It Out, Put It In

I was told that I am not taking enough calories.

I need more!!

Apparently I have eaten more rice than anyone else and I am well-known a heavy rice-eater. I normally have two plates of rice for my lunch or dinner. And since my parents cannot eat too much rice, they most of the time give some of their rice to me knowing that I am such a crazy rice-eater.

And yet, I am still skinny like a bamboo stick.

I went to see this Mr. Flirtatious this afternoon to fix some system problem. Long time never heard from him really, as he used to call me everyday complaining about having system error and all that. And today, some other error was found and I need to go to his workplace and investigate. I noticed right away that his belly is slightly bigger! Not that he got pregnant or what, but really, he has that so called beer-belly.

Perfect abs!

While I was busy investigating what's wrong with the system, he complained to me that his little shirt was a little too tight.

Mr. Flirtatious : Gosh, this shirt is little tight for me!
Me : Getting fat already?
Mr. Flirtatious : Maybe. That's why this shirt is tight for me.
Me : And I kinda notice your big belly. What's wrong?
Mr. Flirtatious : Yeah la! I also know. It's useless to do any sit-ups to get rid of this spare tire. Oh yes, I need to show you something!!!

He quickly got a magazine (Cosmetic! Duh, isn't it a lady magazine?!) , and flipped through the pages and showed me the article. Guess what the article is all about?!

L.I.P.O.S.U.C.T.I.O.N.

I was like "Are you sure about that!?". Then he explained, he's gonna do that 'Smartsuction' where the fat around his belly will be sucked out. Is there any different with liposuction?! He also told me that the doctor actually recommended two options :

1) Suck out all the fat and throw it out.
2) Or 'neutralize' all the fat and let the body clean the fat out naturally

So you chose to suck it out? Or let it out naturally?!

And he chose the first option. Get it done once and for all. And it will cost him around RM 2K.

Anyway, not that it's my business. I couldn't care more. But I told him that I have no fat to worry about. The only thing I hate is the fact that I can never get fat. Or to be more accurate, I could not gain enough weight. Even though I have gained another 2 kgs over these few months (which is really a great thing for me), I need another 4 to 5 kgs to achieve my target to be 65kgs in weight before year end.

Well, then he told me that I did not consume enough calories. He explained that calories I consumes is equal to my calories needed. I should consume a lot more calories that I actually needed. Then only I can gain weight. Maybe he's right. Having a really high-metabolism, I can easily release my energy.

Hmm... I should eat more. Should buy a whole bunch of bread and put it on my table. I used to eat a lot of biscuit. But too many biscuits cause me to have fever. Any suggestion? More bread?
what else? Don't ask me to eat more rice! I have had enough rice during my lunch and dinner!

I need more beefcakes!

Gosh, most people are so into losing weight, yet I am struggling to gain weight! Pathetic!