Suddenly I have this thought of starting everything all over again. Like being a new person, having new resolution, having new attitude and personality, having new hairstyle, having new dreams, having new clothes and pants, having new shoes... all new! Is it because it has come to the end of the year and it's time to reflect and start things anew for coming new year? Maybe. But not entirely.
Been really sick of being me. Hahaha... It seems that I will never stop complain about being myself. Yet, I never change to be the person I want to be. I don't see myself putting effort to be that someone I want to be though. And that's really sickening too!
And what actually cause me to have such thought of starting anew and change myself?! I seriously have no idea. I always comes up with new plan, new things, new dreams... and they all just turn into ashes the next day.
I also realize that every morning I wake up, I hardly feel refreshed and excited to meet the new day. Instead, I always feel restless and disappointed to have to wake up from my sleep and deal with all the same old problems again. I think I should change my attitude. And do something interesting. Like waking up in the morning and say to myself :"YOU'RE GORGEOUS TODAY!". Or something like :"I LOVE YOU, RYAN!"
I remember there's this suggestion : Waking up every morning, look into the mirror and smile at yourself. You'll be happy the whole day. Maybe I should try that. But I doubt it will work for me. Because having my hair un-comb, I would definitely look stupid if I look into the mirror and smile at myself. Weird!
Anyway, changes need to be made. I think I will take this whole month to do some real reflection. Identify my strengths and my weaknesses. My mistakes and my achievements. And from there, I should know where I will go and how I want to be. And changes is not easy. But I'll take it slow.
I can almost predict, tomorrow I'll forget about this. Will I?!