Many things just don't seem to go the way we thought they would be. Guess that's why I call this a wonderful world. Many possibilities, many uncertainties, many twists... that just make everything unpredictable and unforeseeable. And maybe that's why we could have excitement of surprises and also insecurities that always bring us the darkness of fear. And yes, I've been through them all. Definitely not something new to us all as a grown-man.
It's funny how the rise and fall still get me. The crash and burn still hurts. Critics still give big slaps on my face and have me hidden myself in the darkness reflect over and over again what're the wrongs and what're the rights. Just as the compliments still makes me flying high until I hit the ceiling and fall back down still feeling happy. And I thought I am immune to all those dramas in life, not until I realized I am still a human made with flesh and blood. And emotion sometimes is stronger than sensibility.
It's always something else in life. Just when you thought you have experienced everything in life, there comes a new one at your least expectation. And 'whoa' you will be, shocked and stunned, excited and amused, whatever that suddenly make your life more interesting! It's a good thing though.
Perhaps I am not the one who can really take surprises. Not that I would get heart-attack or stroke and die instantly. "Choi! Touchwood!" :p But I think I will need a lot more time to get back to where I was from. And being too high or too low freaks me out. It's like walking on a single rope at the high mountain that you might fall anytime. Definitely not wanting to walk in the deep and dark valley searching the way out dying to at least see the sunlight of hope and exhale in relieved.
But again, perhaps that's life. High or low. If only we could control everything, then it wouldn't be as interesting as it should be. And so I try. Try and try. And still trying to learn and grow. To find the pattern of life. To accept the happiness gracefully, and to get rid of the sadness calmly. To face the challenges courageously, and to rise up again after each and every fall. To be better and better each day. To find the beauties and to create beauties. And be the beauty who will make this world a better place.
Oh, that's all so easy to say. But I guess I have to keep on walking. Step by step. Bit by bit. Life can be harsh, nevertheless, it brings joys and laughters. I think I'll just need to hold on to those beautiful memories I've created along the long journey. I guess that way, I'll be happier each day.