Tuesday, October 23, 2007

That's So Not My Kind of Life

It's gonna take forever for my Mozilla to load the "New Post" page from blogger.com. I might as well type this post in a notepad first while trying, struggling and waiting for the page to be fully loaded. Strange enough, I have the feeling that the server is so damned congested that my endless requests were basically ignored.


These few weeks have been passing very fast. I noticed it's all because I was too busy. Yeap! Pretty much occupied with works and choir practices. And the time had secretly passed by without saying goodbye. And I was not notified. Until just now I suddenly realized, that we're in the 4th quarter of the year.

No kidding, I have been working my ass off for the past few months and, pathetically, I don't see there's any significant event or achievement this year in my life. Looking back for the resolution or vows I'd made at the beginning of the year, I hardly achieve any of them! Typical me!

"Plans are not meant to be followed and targets are not meant to be hit!"

Guess the above are very much my slogan of the year! Seriously working life can be so dull and routine. And even me myself in person, can be so dull and freaking boring. Not only I have nothing to talk about when meeting with friends or colleagues but how busy I was, I also find myself hard to open my mouth and speak. Fucked, I even have to write email to update my boss instead of walking into his room and talk to him personally!

The 'holiday-ing' brother in the house obviously are right the opposite of me. Being so cheerful and lively. He could talk endlessly and I could enjoy listening to his humorous "multimedia" speeches with visual and sound effects and he seems to enjoy talking and telling us funny stories back in campus about his friends and lectures. And he never fail to make us all laugh.

And no, I can't talk like him. As if I'm a grown-up man and supposed to be remain silent and steady for all time. I should refrain myself for doing or even saying something stupid. As if I'd lose my job or reputation for saying the wrong things or doesn't behave myself. Damned, I hate that!

Ain't misbehaving!

The funny thing is when I got home, I am just too lazy to talk. And most of the things in life doesn't seem so important any more. The only thing I want is my own space and privacy. Yes, apparently long working hours have definitely took away most of my space and time. Even the two days weekend doesn't not satisfy my need to be alone and enjoy my kind of life. The pathetic thing is, I have to plan how to spend the weekend. And I am not a planner, I am more of a improviser. I do whatever things I want to do when I feel like doing it. Thus weekend is never enough.

Most of the time when weekend comes, I'd do all the things I wanted to do. And when I started to feel like resting, Monday has already arrived. Guess that's the problem for my restlessness and exhaustion. And don't ask me to plan my weekend. If things were to be planned, then it's just another weekdays for me Because weekdays are full of plans and scheduled which I need to strictly follow and obey!

This is unplanned!

And please don't tell me :" That's life!"

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