Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Unfunctionable Brain

It happens again. Yes, my brain! It does not work!

It's funny I am helping customer to solve problems (system or application problems, of course!) yet nobody seems to be able to solve my problem. And my problem is that I cannot think and cannot process information. Subsequently I cannot analyze problems. So I cannot come out with the solution for the problem.

What am I supposed to do?

Seriously I have been noticing this problem of mine few months back. No, not really. Actually it's few years back. After my graduation perhaps. I think I have thought too much when I study. And after graduation, I become numb. And I could not concentrate and focus anymore.

Even though I have had enough sleep and keeping a healthy lifestyle (except watching porn once in a blue moon in my bedroom for my guilty pleasures), I still find it hard to concentrate and do whatever I am suppose to do. Yeah, I procrastinate in the end. Trying to figure out what should I do to make me work on those tasks that I need to complete. Unfortunately, I ended up doing nothing.

And sometime I find myself day dreaming: what should I do after work? Is there any movie that I haven't watched? Whether or not the drama series would be downloaded completely by the time I reached home tonight? Or dreaming about having a coffee date with my prince charming? Walking in a beautiful garden hand-in-hand with my beloved boyfriend who doesn't exist yet. Worse still, fantasizing me sitting on Julian McMahon's laps sucking his face... when after that I always need to struggle to keep my cute little brother down there (who always uncontrollably causing a tent at my crotch) to cool down and not raise any flag! Alright... I am so not go there.

"Sitting on my laps? French-kissing me?!"

Besides that, I find it difficult to sit in front of my piano and start to learn a new piece. I hardly sit for half an hour and I'd feel tired and restless. I used to be able to sit in front of the piano for hours (say 3 - 4 hours) just to practice a new songs. I was always eager to learn new songs. Especially those difficult piano pieces by Chopin or Franz Liszt. Being able to play those pieces always make me feel proud of myself. Well, who doesn't? They're Chopin's and Liszt's works!

Besides having difficulties to practice piano, I also find myself weak in writing. Alright, maybe because my command in English is weak. But now I also have problem writing even in Chinese. I still remember I could write lotsa articles in Chinese. Just give me a topic and I can write few pages for you in just a few minutes. OK, maybe within half an hour. But now, I doubt half an hour will be enough for me to write a few paragraphs.

Moreover, I also feel that I get fatigue easier nowadays. Lack of exercise? Perhaps. I hardly go gym recently. Thanks to my overwhelming workloads. Oh workloads! Scary thing! It keeps stacking on my already mountain-high workloads. And the more I see the workload I have, the more anxious and discouraging I am! It's amazing how customers can make new requests for the current application system. Want to enhance this and customize that. Gosh, everyone has different requirement. That's it! No wonder my brain is protesting and calling for a strike!

But again, I'm paid for that. I am paid to solve problems. I am a so-called problem solver. And it's funny that I can't solve my own problem. I think I should apply for a long long vacation. Yeah, I know running away won't solve my problems. But at least my brain need rest for awhile. I should get myself re-energized!

Re-energized? Need my help?!

Side notes :
I have finished downloaded Brothers and Sisters Season 2 episode 1. So exciting! :p


Calvin said...

So what pieces you play from Chopin? Fantasia? Berceuse? Or just nocturnes? Liszt's La Campanella? Or Liebestraum? Hehehe...

Trust me, you're not weak in your Emglish. It's good enough.

Ryan said...

Nocturne for Chopin. And Liebestraum No. 3 for Liszt. :D

Janvier said...

You need a break to recharge 'em batteries. Or probably someone to help you destress and perk up. :D

Jason said...

Slowly slowly... don't push yourself too hard ya.

Queer Ranter said...

Maybe you could use a vacation?