The Art of Speaking

I was given 15 minutes to do a public speaking on any topic.

"What am I suppose to talk about?!"

I have been asking myself this question since morning. Trying to get inspiration from my everyday work won't help. The only thing I could talk about working life is boring, hectic, stressful, tiring... and I can keep on repeating the same description over and over again. No doubt if I were to talk about working life, the audience will be bored watching a fed-up person griping over the same problems over and over again.

Can't talk? Stunned by my beauty?

This reminds me of the public speaking class I used to take during my university. I am still wondering how I got the guts to take up the subject and attended the classes every week having to speak in front of everyone in the class. Gosh, you have no idea how stressful it was. Imagine every week you need to prepare one speech. At least 5 minutes speech. I still remember the first time I spoke in front of the class, I had a lot of "er.." and "arr..". Also, the teacher commented I like to use the word "alright" and "ok" in between my speech. Sort of like a self-reassurance.

The most memorable lesson was when we had to do the impromptu speech. A few topics were written down in different piece of paper and put in a box. Everyone have to randomly pick a piece of the paper from the box and talk about the topic written on that piece of paper. And we have to at least speak for 5 minutes.

Guess what topic I have got? It was "Teenager and sex"!

"Oh, sex! Don't we talk about it all the time? You want more sex, dear?"

Oh so you thought it was easy! I couldn't remember what I was really talking about. My head was totally blank and have no points to talk about. To me, sex was something for me to see, like watching porn. But I have never seriously talked about sex with any of my friends. Well, we do have some sex jokes to keep our sense of humour. But to seriously and formally talk about sex?! I was really bad! I didn't study with my friend how to have sex, how we should do this and do that, how can we improve our sex performance... Yes, I didn't talk much about sex with friends. Only stupid sex jokes. Come on, I don't even have a boyfriend to talk about sex!

I forgot what I was talking about through out the 5 minutes. The only thing I remember was that I said something about "putting that guys thing into the girl thing". Which wasn't funny at all. And I still remember my lecturer commented that the audience, meaning the classmates, who were all above 21 years old, should have no problem listening phrase like "putting the penis into the vagina". Alright, fine! I thought I was pretending to be shy and conservative. Thank goodness I didn't say "sliding a dick into a guy's asshole" or "licking one's anus". Did I just said that?! Alright, by then I would end up giving a talk on man-to-man sex.

"I think they have no idea how we did it in bed! Should we show them, sweetheart?!"

However, that was a good lesson though. Really make me realize how bad I was to give a public speaking. Even till now I am bad. Don't even speak about the 15 minutes I was given just now. I do know what I wanted to talk about but somehow words just didn't come out right. Well, what do you expect, I have been communicating with computers since I graduated and hardly speak to anyone for more than 10 minutes except lunch time talking nonsense and stupid jokes. The only communication tool I used is computer and my hands which do all the 'talking'. Only if my hands can speak, then I could have done a better presentation.

But no. Apparently I spoke too fast, almost went off the topic (while trying to explain further) and ended up making everyone confused a little in the middle. Anyway, I managed to make a fairly good conclusion and thanked everyone for listening.

Finally it's over! Ahh... now anyone wanna give me a massage?!

Lastly, I thought I heard No Doubt singing :"Don't speak..."